/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

about

The concept focuses around a little girl after the death of her sister. Her grief is felt by everyone around her as she struggles with closure.


This EP is owned and maintained by the lyricist. The voice and music are from a production company and was obtained by contract. For licensing inquiries, please contact me via this page or my publisher, PA Music Publishing.

credits

released April 25, 2017

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Eleven Endings (E.E.) Indianapolis, Indiana

I am Eleven Endings. A lyricist living in Indianapolis, Indiana.

My name is a combination of my favorite number and the number of possibilities of how my story ends.

contact / help

Contact Eleven Endings (E.E.)

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Chapter One - From the Grave
(Chorus)
This dirt is so heavy when you cry
It all turns to mud when you cry
It all turns to mud
This mud is too heavy

Rest in peace
That's for the old
Not the young
Open my diary
My dreams are hung
Suspended in ink
My life was little
Lay me down to sleep
Cartoons on pillows
I'm not grandma on the porch
Talking about the past
I’m the young girl who listens
An hour before class
Standing in the mirror
My future on the glass
Why did my hopes fall
Who knocked them off the wall
You cut your fingers
Trying to hold it together
Holding down my dreams
The pen’s light as a feather
I heard you say it's not getting better
That it's always raining
And the pain is getting wetter

(Chorus)
This dirt is so heavy when you cry
It all turns to mud when you cry
It all turns to mud
This mud is too heavy

We were great siblings
We didn't always get along
But not like cats and dogs
Like puppies and kittens
You're wishing me back
I've heard your cries
But my hands are tied
By a pink ribbon
I can't leave you like this
You can fight for my dreams
But is there peace in that fist
Remember to shine
I don't want to be forgotten
But at what cost to your mind
We're the sun and the moon
You and I
The biggest prettiest thing in the sky
Be kind to mother
The one you call mom
I wish I could be there
I scream with more fire than a bomb
It's so hot down here
Sweaty palms
Holding tight what you gave me
Thank you for this flower
This pen
That hung and that kiss
My favorite things in the earth
Despite the pain it brings
We all want to be missed
But now's the time sis
The living comes first

(Chorus)
This dirt is so heavy when you cry
It all turns to mud when you cry
It all turns to mud
This mud is too heavy
Track Name: Chapter Two - The Signs of Death
I was at the store today
Her favorite song started to play
The cashier gave us the total
It was her birthday
I was watching a movie
Until I saw that scene
I heard her laugh
But it wasn't seen
In the eyes of a stranger
I saw her gaze
Someone was talking
Their words spoke to me
Her most used phrase
I heard a phone
It captured my attention
It was her ringtone
I opened my own
To stare at her number
Read our texts
Her last reply
Where will I see her next
I've kept her dolls
But mom I hate them
There's something so foul
They were once so bright
Now they have no life

(Chorus)
I try to be tough
Act calm and casual
But doctors listen to my heart
They tell me I'm fragile
Who cares what they said
Even though I'm afraid
I put my hand on my chest
Pledge allegiance to the dead

Mom, her seat doesn't swing anymore
Her phone doesn't ring anymore
The 9pm shower doesn't sing anymore
They all think I’m weak
They're so cautious when they speak
The ma'ams
The misters
She'll stop aging
The broken pictures
Forget being a doctor
I need a shield
Make me a cop
I heard her through the stethoscope
One day she just stopped

(Chorus)
I try to be tough
Act calm and casual
But doctors listen to my heart
They tell me I'm fragile
Who cares what they said
Even though I'm afraid
I put my hand on my chest
Pledge allegiance to the dead
Track Name: Chapter Three - Under the Roof
My princess
You're obsessed
The principal called
You left during recess
Visited her old class
Even changed into her dress
Sat down
Her hair in your hand
Getting drenched
Fist clenched
Thinking about that boy on the playground
One day she would face him
But now he's turned around
You saw his name on her desk
Got a little sadder
Saw the heart around it
Got a little madder
At him
The world
The new girl
Sweetheart we all have a clock
In different time zones
But it doesn't stop
It continues to tick
At the door they all stood
Don't take me out there you tried to say
But the pain was too thick

(Chorus)
Nothing new under the roof
The usual family fights
Broken plates and sharp spite
You've walked a mile in those shoes
That's why I'm on my knees
Begging you please
Leave ‘em at the door

My princess
You're hurting me
Words may not be stones
But when they hit
They stick
You don't mean what you say
Pain knows no other way
Let her go
She’s not sick
No more needles
She's free now
A bald eagle
I caught you messing up her bed
Claiming she slept there
But you say it's lacking the pajamas
Her dark hair
Nothing will satisfy you
Nothing can compensate
You yell in your sleep
With live and hate
Grind teeth in your dreams
Sweaty sheets
Burning mom's heart when you scream

(Chorus)
Nothing new under the roof
The usual family fights
Broken plates and sharp spite
You've walked a mile in those shoes
That's why I'm on my knees
Begging you please
Leave ‘em at the door

You don't talk to me
Only the mirror on the wall
Dead phone to your ear
Her personality on call
I've made appointments
You no longer have a choice
They said you spoke to them
But it was her voice
You're losing your mind
And my dear
That's the hardest thing to find


(Chorus)
Nothing new under the roof
The usual family fights
Broken plates and sharp spite
You've walked a mile in those shoes
That's why I'm on my knees
Begging you please
Leave ‘em at the door
Track Name: Chapter Four - Gemini
(Chorus)
I'll miss you a bunch
It only lasted for a month
Until next year
Be nice to the animals
They come out when it's dark
I'll see you when it's clear

Take me back to when
Food was all over our clothes
And around our mouths
I want to live that again
When pain wasn't anguish
When we didn't have a language
When the milk was warm
And crying was the norm
But then we got older
The milk got colder
And then mom always said
To sleep in my own bed
She used to come in
Our blankets on the floor
You and I asleep
Ying Yang position
Our connection was deep

(Chorus)
I'll miss you a bunch
It only lasted for a month
Until next year
Be nice to the animals
They come out when it's dark
I'll see you when it's clear

You wouldn't start a movie lest I was present
It annoyed mom
So you tried harder
A bit smarter
But she found the remote
You were the trouble maker
The one sneaking out the room
Creeping by mom's door
Trying not to wake her
Brining back snacks
A flashlight
Whispers under the cover
Long night
Don't fall asleep before the other

(Chorus)
I'll miss you a bunch
It only lasted for a month
Until next year
Be nice to the animals
They come out when it's dark
I'll see you when it's clear

It felt good
Not to say a word
But have your silence understood
Mom saw random hugs
You knew when I needed live
Closed eyes
Everyone knows the meaning
But you realized when I was dreaming
Push and pull
Let's continue our dance
Mom taught us to walk
But we were holding hands
Where are you
I feel your soul
But I need so much more
I need you whole
I can't get over it
How do you defeated a heart with a beat
Mom it’s been a long walk
The most painful part
Is getting the shoes off my feet

(Chorus)
I'll miss you a bunch
It only lasted for a month
Until next year
Be nice to the animals
I love you so much
Track Name: Chapter Five - Amelia
(Chorus)
Mother the world is spinning
I can't break it’s spell
I woke up one morning
Ate breakfast in heaven
And then lunch in hell

Something’s different tonight
The moon is really bright
Her dolls are always silent
Now they have something to say
They're looking my way
I can't hear the crickets
And the wind isn't blowing
I get up to look in the mirror
Her reflection isn't showing
I lift her mattress
It's lighter than usual
A feeling has left me
A feeling that was mutual

(Chorus)
Mother the world is spinning
I can't break it’s spell
I woke up one morning
Ate breakfast in heaven
And then lunch in hell

I’m done pacing around
I've made my decision
Still in my nightgown
There's no time to change
I throw on shoes and a jacket
The up my hair
Wondering why this night's so strange
I've never done this before
I take a few breaths
Creep past mom's door
Grabbed the shovel in the garage
My heart sinks beneath six feet of dirt
I turn around to see my sister's mirage
She fades away as I run past her
Watching me run past her
I run faster
Until I can no longer see my home
Finally I'm at her stone
Sister what is this all about
I look up at the sky
The full moon is out

(Chorus)
Mother the world is spinning
I can't break it’s spell
I woke up one morning
Ate breakfast in heaven
And then lunch in hell

It's been many hours into the night
I'm at her open coffin
It's not the position we buried her in
I haven’t forgotten about yin
But she's dead
Her pale skin
I don't understand
I can't stop shaking my hand
I see it out the corner of my eye
My body couldn't move
My soul yearned to cry
I couldn't hear anything
Not even my own breath
I lost my senses
Even the smell of death
I opened my mouth to scream
But it was a dud
Even though I couldn't hear it
Maybe someone would
It's in the night air
It's so heavy
How far the wind can go from here
If it falls
It'll rock the earth
The animals will disappear
Someone tell me this isn't true
Those aren't scratches in the coffin
I'll awake in a few
I'm not really here
I’m not really muddy
Those aren't her fingertips
They're not really bloody
Someone make all this good
Those aren't her nails in the wood
Is that what I think
I see my name
She put love around it
Her dream in ink
She didn't suffer here alone
She's in bed at home
I continue to say
I take off my shoes
Lay down with her
Close my eyes
All is silent
Not even a cry
Will they open again
Mother will knock in the morning
She'll come in
She'll find me gone
Think I’m absurd
The dolls staring at our beds
But they won't say a word

(Chorus)
Mother the world is spinning
I can't break it’s spell
I woke up one morning
Ate breakfast in heaven
And then lunch in hell